A Marauder's Penseive
by BloodIsThickerThanWater
Summary: Chapters, ficlets, and nixed ideas that didn't make the cut for Bad Faith (Also by me) Same rules apply. Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling. Prank Ideas are from OMG-Bannana. Featuring: The first train ride, the sorting, things Dez missed that the Marauders think you need to hear about, and more.
1. A Bit Too Convenient

AN: This was one of the many endings I thought of, but eventually moved on from for Bad Faith. This would be an AU where Lily had gone out to get some diapers or something and hadn't been there to save Harry with her love.

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Sirius and Desari sighed and glanced out over the wreckage left after the war. James and his young son were dead. Lily was forced to marry Snape to keep her life. Peter had turned out to be a death eater. Fabian and Gideon Prewett had been killed protecting Remus. Remus was on the run. Lucius had betrayed his sister. Regalus had betrayed his brother. Albus Dumbledore lie dead in a shallow grave somewhere in the forbidden forest. The Order of the Phoenix was broken. Voldemort had won the war.

"Sirius, we're probably going to die." Dez whispered, leaning her head on her best friend's shoulder.

"I won't let that happen, Dez. I promised Remus that I would keep you safe, no matter what." Sirius whispered back, wrapping an arm around the terrified girl.

"He-who-must-not-be-named declared that purebloods would only be spared if they produced a pureblood heir in the next five years." Desari whimpered. "You and I stood against him. At best we'll be sold off to the highest buyer as breeders."

"I won't let that happen, Dez." Sirius insisted.

"It's too late to run." Desari shrugged. "It's our only choice."

"No, it's not." Sirius sighed. "Technically, I can still claim your hand in marriage. You were promised to me, a pureblood, and I can call on that."

"We would still be expected to produce an heir. And you're still gay, sweety." Dez rolled her eyes. "And, I'm definitely not sleeping with you."

"It would buy some time at least." Sirius frowned, disgusted. "And as two purebloods of Ancient Houses, we could claim Remus as a pet."

"Remus isn't a pet. He's my husband." I growled, glaring out at my surroundings. "He's my heart, my love, my soulmate."

"I know Dezzie, but you're starting to get crazy from being away too long, and I'm sure he is too. You two need to be together, and this is the only way." Sirius turned Desari around to look at her. "You and Remus could produce an heir. I would claim it easily. He's my brother, you'll be my wife. It would be just as much of my kid as Harry was."

"What if the kid turned out to be a werewolf? How would you explain that away?" She glared, turning to her best friend.

"The three of us can do anything. By the time the kid's grown, you'll be able to cure it." Sirius said, leaning on the railing. "I believe in you."

"Sirius… I can't–" Sirius put a finger over her lips.

Sirius dropped down to one knee and pulled a intricate silver band from his pocket. Tears began to flow down Desari's face as she realized that Sirius must have been carrying it for Fabian. "Don't cry Dezzie. He would have wanted this." Sirius whispered, closing his eyes for a moment against the grief of his loss.

When both of them had regained their composure, Sirius gently took Desari's hand. "Desari Vega Malfoy, will you do me the honor of joining me in a marriage of convenience?"

Desari sighed "Sirius Orion Black, you know I will. As long as you promise to let me help you get through this loss."

Sirius laughed and slid the ring onto Dez's finger. "Of course, my dear." Sirius grinned, tapping the ring with his wand so it would shrink to fit her.

"I'm thinking a summer wedding. You would look terrible in fall colors." Sirius said, as flamboyantly as he could.

Dez rolled her eyes. "And here I was, thinking I was a winter." The two of them laughed and went inside to wait for Remus's floo.


	2. Books And Chocolate

First year, Desari Malfoy had boarded the train nearly an hour early to get a compartment to herself. She was now sprawled across the seat with a gigantic book between her tiny hands. She was amazingly smart for an eleven year old, or at least that's what the tutors had told her, but it never seemed to be enough. She always had to be smarter, prettier, stronger, quieter… in essence, she had to be perfect. That was the only way to impress her father. This year, her first year at Hogwarts, she would learn to do just that. She would learn to be a perfect, pureblood, noble Slytherin.

She was so busy trying to memorize her curriculum, that she didn't even notice when two first year boys opened the compartment. "Hello, could we sit here? All the others are full…." One of the boys squeaked, making Desari jump and drop her book loudly onto the floor.

"Uh, what?" She asked with an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I wasn't listening."

The taller of the boys leaned down and picked up her book, smoothing the pages carefully before handing it back. "Sorry, we didn't mean to scare you. We were just wondering if we could join you."

I shrugged and gently took back my book. "Yeah, I suppose it couldn't hurt." I looked over my new companions.

The tall one, who'd taken such good care of my book, was tired and sickly looking with scars etched across every inch of skin I could shorter one was his opposite. He was all pudge and smiles, despite his over-sized teeth. They were both wearing shabby, secondhand robes, though they looked clean enough. My father wouldn't approve of them, of course.

The short one smiled wide. "Hi, I'm Peter. Peter Pettigrew." He announced proudly in his squeaky voice as if I should recognize the name.

"Malfoy. Desari Malfoy." I said giving my best Malfoy sneer. I shook his pudgy, outstretched hand and turned to the taller boy. "And you are?"

"Remus Lupin." The tall boy said quietly. he had already pulled out a battered book that I didn't recognize and a bag of cheap chocolates.

The three of them spent the train ride to Hogwarts talking about their favorite books and swapping chocolates. Chocolate frogs, chocolate hearts, fancy filled chocolates that most people only bought around christmas time. They bonded quite well over their adventure into the world of school, but when the time came for them to be sorted they had to go their separate ways and Desari knew neither of her friends would be in her house.


	3. A Sirius Sorting

"Black, Sirius!" The stern woman called and Desari Malfoy's head whipped around to find her fiance in the crowd. Desari tilted her head slightly and examined him. He had the aristocratic good looks that most pureblood families did with black hair and grey eyes. His hair was chopped awkwardly short and his robes looked forcibly tightened around his scrawny body. Dez laughed silently, Sirius Black had a face built for long hair and a body made for casual wear.

Sirius sat on the stool and Desari watched the sorting hat dip down to cover Sirius's moonlight colored eyes. She studied him carefully, the way only a pureblood could study someone. He was handsome in the same way as my brother, but like a brother, I couldn't see any way I could ever feel any attraction for him. Perhaps it would grow with time.

The sorting hat sat silent on Sirius's head for longer than any of the other students. It was quiet long after Desari Malfoy had lost interest and let her eyes wander across the hall to find Lucius in the sea of green and silver that was Slytherin. Lucius gave his sister the classic Malfoy sneer and Desari visibly relaxed. The sorting ceremony was just a formality for people like Sirius Black and Desari Malfoy. They were Slytherins. Their parents and grandparents were Slytherins. Nothing could go wrong.

Desari Malfoy smiled that Malfoy smile and looked at her future husband proudly, just in time for her entire world to be turned upside down. The sorting hat opened it's wide brim and called out the one word that could shock the whole school into silence. "Gryffindor!"

Desari Malfoy's heart sank somewhere down near her stomach, and she saw a moment of shock and hesitation on Sirius's face too. Then Sirius's face broke into an arrogant grin as if that had been his plan all along. He tossed the hat carelessly to the stern woman called Mcgonagall, and the school watched in horrified silence as Sirius Black, heir to the Ancient and Noble House of Black, strutted his way to the Gryffindor table. There were no cheers from the Lions, no boos from the Snakes, not even a polite applause from the Badgers or Ravens. Nobody could quite understand what they had just witnessed.


	4. Good Girls like Bad Guys

AN: This one was a request. I think it turned out well.

Song credits go to Monster by Dev and Good Girls Bad Guys by Falling in Reverse

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I stared up at the stars, mentally mapping them out to keep myself busy. The castle was like a cage tonight, so I had stolen away and hid on the grounds, just out of view of the windows. It was a warm night, with a nice breeze blowing off the lake. I pulled my iPod out of the bottom of my bag and picked songs at random to listen to on such a wonderful night. I closed my eyes and let the music and the smell of nature take me away from the exams, and the drama, and just the stress of everyday life.

Somewhere between Falling in Reverse and Lily Allen, a second body joined me in my personal little cove, but I couldn't be bothered to open my eyes. If I was going to get a detention for being out late, I was going to damn well deserve it. I took a deep breath and was greeted with the smell of fine chocolates and aged books.

"Hello, Remus." I whispered, slowly removing the headphone on that side. "You're out awful late."

Remus chuckled. "Oh, I'm out late are I? What are you then? An illusion?"

I laughed lightly. "Definitely not. But, what you don't know is that this is all a dream. You're really asleep in your bed upstairs." I teased.

"Oh really now?" Remus chuckled, laying beside me and cuddling close. "Well, if this is a dream, you won't mind sharing?"

I smiled and curled closer to him so the headphones wouldn't stretch as bad. "No, no of course not. This is your dream after all."

He smiled and took the other headphone, wrapping his arms around me as we escaped into the music together. By the time dawn rolled around, the two of them had fallen asleep in the grass in their own little cove, separated from the world.

*Flash forward*

Remus woke up alone in his bed for once. He frowned and pulled on some pajama pants before wandering into the rest of the house looking for you. He smiled softly when he smelled bacon cooking and headed to the kitchen where you were dancing around barefoot, dressed in only one of his old shirts.

"Call the doctor, must be something wrong with me! He's a monster. Why do I want cha? Please tell me! Please tell me" You sing along in your worst voice, because you thought you were alone.

"Because good girls like bad guys." Remus chuckled, wrapping his arms around you from behind.

"Oh yes, they do." You smiled leaning your head back to kiss his cheek. "Now let me finish your breakfast."


	5. Doll House

AN: Inspired by DollHouse by Melanie Martinez

Desari Malfoy frowned and looked around the schoolyard as she headed for the train to go home for Christmas. Oh, how she wished for an excuse not to return to that doll house she called home. Lucius set a hand on her shoulder and steered her to the train. "Remember, we're the perfect family, Dez." He whispered softly.

Desari nodded and closed her eyes against the tears forming there. She set her hand on top of Lucius's and sighed. "Places, places, get in your places." Desari whispered, sitting in an empty compartment with her brother. She supposed it wouldn't be so bad as long as Lucius was by her side.

Lucius chuckled and patted his sister's head as they settled into the compartment. "I know you hate going home, but I'll protect you, Dez. Just put on your doll face and don't let anyone look in look in the curtains. As long as no one sees anything amiss, I can protect you."

"I shouldn't need protection, Lucius. I should be safe in my home. I shouldn't need to be protected from my drunken father. No one else had to learn to glamour away bruises before they even had a wand. I don't want to face him again." I sighed, leaning on my brother's strength.

"I know they didn't, but you did. You had to learn things no one should ever have to learn, but it doesn't matter. As long as you pretend to be a Malfoy, he'll pretend you're one too." Lucius whispered. "In the mean time, conserve your strength. Take a nap, and know that I'll protect you."

Desari closed her eyes and listened as Lucius sang songs about pretending. Before she knew it, the train was coming to a stop at King's Cross. Desari hugged her brother, giving him a terrified smile before putting her happy mask back on.

Lucius and Desari stepped off the train with nearly identical looks of disdain for the people on the platform. Desari looked around, hiding her curiosity under practiced boredom. Everywhere where happy, imperfect families. She watched friends, families, even siblings hugging and crying and laughing. She was an outsider to this happy thing, but she would fake it until she could make it.

She watched with longing as that boy from the train… Remus Lupin, she remembered, hugged his mother with the biggest smile she'd ever seen. She watched as he introduced his mother to his friends. She watched as his friends introduced their mothers too. She also watched as Sirius Black put on his own doll face and joined his own perfect family.

Sirius Black caught her looking and the two stared at each other for a few moments. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard to love him. He did understand her in a way that few others could. The two exchanged a calculated nod before turning away from each other and back to their doll houses.


	6. Cheater Cheater

I don't have any original ideas this time, so I decided to pick a random prompt from my prompt list. The prompt was "Cheating".

'He doesn't play fair.' Desari thought bitterly. 'Families in general never play fair." She amended. She closed her eyes and tried to focus solely on the facts she knew.

Fact 1: There is a war going on just outside the walls of Hogwarts.

Fact 2: Desari Malfoy does not want to be in the losing side.

Fact 3: Desari Malfoy has to chose a side.

Fact 4: Lucius chose the Death Eater side.

Fact 5: The Marauders chose the Order of the Pheonix side.

Fact 6: Desari Malfoy does not want to chose a side.

Fact 7: The Death Eaters kill their enemies. If they win, and she loses, she will probably be killed, possibly by her own brother.

Fact 8: The Order put's their enemies in Azkaban. Somehow, that might be worse than death.

Fact 9: Desari Malfoy does not want to be put in Azkaban.

Fact 10: Desari Malfoy does not betray her family. With family on both sides, how will she ever win?

Desari Malfoy sighed and looked up at the moon again. The full moon and the stars shining bright over her usually brought her peace. Tonight it only made her cold. Desari does not want to fight. Desari just wants this whole thing to be over. She looked down at the perfectly written letter in her hand one last time.

Kitten,

I know you don't believe in blood supremacy, but I cannot watch you die, and I absolutely can't kill you myself. There is a war going on out here. The death eaters are fighting to kill, Dez. The Aurors and the Order are just fighting to capture. Please, be smart about your choices this coming year. In eight short months, Hogwarts will no longer be able to protect you.

Dez, get rid of those muggle-loving halfbreeds and chose life, for me. Chose to be on the winning side. I know you're stubborn, but there will be plenty of time to make friends and free house elves (or whatever you newest project is) when your life isn't in danger. Please, hear the voice of reason. Chose to live.

Your brother,

Lucius

Desari took a deep breath and read the letter yet again, intent on memorizing her brother's words. When she was satisfied, she stood and tossed the paper off the astronomy tower, casting a burning curse at it as it fell. As ashes and tears both fell to the grass far below, Desari mourned because her brother's last words to her would always be, "Chose to live" and that just didn't seem fair.

Desari closed her eyes and let the words wash over her. She whispered words that came all to familiar to her lips, words that she'd thrown at him since they were kids. "You, Lucius Malfoy, are such a cheat. I don't think I want to play anymore."


	7. Messrs Meet

AN: Thanks Leo! Anyways, if anyone wants to see something in particular, leave me a review and I'll start on it immediately! Love you guys.

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Remus and Peter had stuck together since the moment they first met. Remus had seen the terrified look in Peter's eyes on the platform and had walked right up to him. He'd offered to be his friend and the two had clicked, simple as that. They had shared childhood stories and candies on the train. They'd bonded over a long talk about what house they might get sorted into and what they were most excited to learn. When they were both sorted into Gryffindor, they'd immediately sat down together and started talking all over again.

Now it was time to meet the other roommates. Peter and Remus turned to each other and gave the other a reassuring smile before Remus finally opened the door. Across the room two beds had been connected with spare blankets and sheets to create the best fort either had ever seen. A bright yellow piece of paper was attached to one side reading: The Fortress of Gryffintude. Remus chuckled slightly at the vague reference to Superman and looked at Peter who was just confused.

"The Fortress of Solitude is a hangout for a superhero in a muggle comic." He whispered, sparing his new friend any embarrassment. Peter looked even more confused by that but nodded silently.

"Who dares disturb the great Wizard of Oz?" A voice called from just beyond the fortress.

"Your new bunk mates." Peter said softly.

Two bundles of black haired chaos tumbled from the fortress and bounced over to get a good look at the newcomers. James and Sirius poked and prodded at Remus and Peter for a few moments before looking at each other with wicked grins.

"I don't know, Black. The short one looks a little innocent. Maybe we should spare him." James smiled.

"You're right, Potter. The tall one seems a little shy for my tastes. I think we should play hide and seek with their robes.

The two dark haired boys watched the horror begin to dawn on their new companions before collapsing into giggles. "Oh, we're just playing guys. We'd never do that to you." James assured them.

"Exactly, you know where we sleep, and we rather like sleep." Sirius added.

"Anyways, I'm James Potter, the handsome one, and this is Sirius Black, the one who wishes he was as handsome as I am." James grinned, running a hand through his hair.

"Remus Lupin." Remus said softly, still wary of the two balls of chaos. "And this is Peter Pettigrew."

"Well don't just stand there, boys. To the Lion cave!" Sirius said, diving back into the fort.

"The Lion Den sounds better." Remus chuckled, following him into the fort and sitting on one of the beds.

The four of them sat up talking about everything from acid pops to Zonko's Joke shop until dawn crept it's way into the tower without any of them realizing a moment had passed. Just like that, the Marauders were born.


	8. Sirius's Laughter

You know how they say that there's a thin line between laughing and crying? In a twisted sort of way, that makes sense now.

There was once Sirius Black, the wild one. The one no sane parent would allow anywhere near a child. And there was James Potter, the golden boy. James, the golden boy. James the perfect father and husband. There was Remus Lupin, the werewolf. Remus the kind creature of darkness. Remus the outcast. Remus the stigmatized. And then there was Peter Pettigrew, poor ickle Peter. Peter who was constant. Peter who was quiet. Peter who was invisible. Peter who no one expected to do much of anything after graduation.

Peter was the one everyone thought they knew. No one thought there was any more of him that what was on the surface. Oh how we underestimated Peter Pettigrew, never really thinking him capable of much. Peter was always the look out, the bait, and never the prankster. Why couldn't we see this side of him? Why couldn't we see Peter's devious side? Why were we blind to the side that relished in the harmless image, that allowed Peter to operate in stealth, without ever being seen?

And when Peter's animagus was a rat- shouldn't it have been obvious then, Sirius Black? You always knew you were a dog. How many times did girls, and later boys, remind you? But Peter? There's nothing as sneaky as a rat, Sirius. Yeah, we all thought it was a fluke, that he was meant to be a rabbit or something. But Sirius, he really was just a rat, and we all missed it, even you.

We didn't trust Remus, and we should have. We should have trusted good, kind-hearted, stigmatized Remus. Peter really had us there. He shifted our attention, which seemed natural, because we rarely paid attention to him. And so Peter got the better of Remus. Sirius trusted Peter. JAMES trusted Peter. But, Peter finally beat James, didn't you, Peter? And Peter bested Sirius as well. It was close though, Sirius almost had you, Peter.

He hasn't slept since it happened, you know. His only thought since James died was for you, Peter. He was going to get you, and you were finally right in front of him. He was ready, ready to kill one of his best friends. And then...

"James and Lily, Sirius. How could you?"

Sirius Black was shocked. He couldn't believe that Peter had the audacity to say their names. He froze for a single moment, and then, Peter Pettigrew was gone. Sirius had to admit, to himself at least, that it was a genius escape. Peter Pettigrew's single shining moment. But Peter didn't have anywhere to go then. He didn't have anyone to turn to. Oh what a tangled web we weave, when we practice to deceive.

Chubby, clumsy, average Peter. My god, what have we done, Peter? We believed you. We trusted you, and you fooled us all.

But not Desari. Sirius realized. Desari had warned them about Peter. She had seen through the mask of incompetence. If only they had listened to Desari. Maybe then James would be alive. Maybe then Harry wouldn't know the pain of being an orphan. Maybe then Sirius wouldn't be so royally screwed. Maybe then Remus wouldn't be alone.

And then, Sirius Black, delirious with grief, shock, and lack of sleep, broke down. All Sirius could do then was laugh at this great cosmic joke we call reality. And laugh he did. Sirius Black was still laughing when the aurors came for him. He was still laughing when they threw him in a cell in Azkaban without even a trial. He was still laughing when the Dementors had taken every happy memory he ever had. They couldn't take his laughter, because his laughter was the hollow laugh of the mad.


End file.
